Day Five: The #Foreverfit Blog Series {Hello, Taste?!}

Let's start out by saying that I can't even believe I can actually write this blog, KNOWING that I have NOT cheated once in the last 5 days.  I'm not sure what made this time so different then all the other "giant fail Mondays" in the past, but I am in it for the long haul.

Kira and I have been blandly eating our way through the week, every 3 hours or so during the day - although I'm sometimes not sure if it's me just breathing, or actually eating, since the food tastes like air.  This meal plan is designed to put you on the track, of never enjoying another meal again starting to eat healthy on a regular basis.  I have done it so many times in the last 3 years, that I have to admit that I have modified some nights, still using the same foods but in different orders.

So far this week, I have been able to suppress the inevitable cravings of chips, candy and what not (mostly because I went full out on Sunday, as if my mouth were the trick or treat bag of a kid who lived in a generous neighbourhood on Hallowe'en) but there have been a few moments that I know will stay with me through the next 23 days.

I guess I should just come right out and say I have a ketchup problem. I love that shit.  Always have.  On everything but eggs, ketchup works. All of this boring and tasteless food that makes me skinny would be 10 gajillion times better if it were introduced to this sexy fellow:

I'm not sure why Heinz can't figure out a healthy way to do make this tasty treat, but the fact that they haven't done it yet makes me believe that it truly is one tomato to 4 pounds of sugar, dyed red.  Mmmm...dyed sugar.....*drool*

Speaking of sugar, and the fact that on Friday's I normally partake in an activity I call #drunkinyvr where I consume various amounts of beverages that make the worries of the week disappear.  I understand that booze is not on the list of preferred drinks, but as I walked past these happy looking bottles, I couldn't help but want to lose my shit and smash them all on the floor.  How's that for self control?

Instead of doing that, I ate this:

Doesn't that look like much more fun? No? Good eye.  HELLO, TASTE? SERIOUSLY, WHY YOU NO TASTE GOOD BUT BE SO GOOD FOR ME?  The sweet potato is misleading, the asparagus needs cheese, and a salt less chunk of dead cow. MMMMMM. Gag.

Today at work, I was raging against the wrap that took 3 bites to eat and left me feeling like I had just been given a prize and then had it taken away.  Complaining about a chicken wrap may seem ridiculous, and I assure you that it is - but as a former 250 pounder, my brain always wants to eat the MAC. ALWAYS.

Tonight - there was no Mac.  There was no ketchup.  There was no bottle of vodka, that I could pretend was alright because it looked so much like water.  No, no. 

Tonight, there was this:

MERRY CHRISTMAS ME.
annnnd lumps of coal, for my taste buds.

Meanwhile, Kira has been diligently staying close to the meal plan - which for a first-timer I would definitely recommend using to help get used to the new foreign foods called "vegthablaes"....or something like that....

She has hilariously outlined her Day 5, and the infamous lunch of "Satan's tears" ...click here to read all  the delicious details!

23 days to go, and the fun never existed is never ending. *insert eye roll here*

Now if I could just get off my ass and burn one calorie, we might just be onto something here...

Lost and Found Parlour: Working Stylish Miracles since 2011

THIS WAS ME...

Ok, so maybe that wasn't exactly me -- but it was pretty damn close.  

For the last year, I have been growing out my "once bobbed" haircut, and every 4-6 weeks I was a slave to the grocery store hair dye.  Trying to maintain some kind of hair with life basically became mission impossible.  With the addition of grey roots, I would frequently tell my boyfriend that he should just accept the fact he was dating a 28 yr old Grandmother.

Enter Lost & Found Parlour and the amazing Katie-Rose.

(aka the cutest place you'll ever your hair done)

Photos on the wall demonstrate Katie's amazing talent,
which starts to become very apparent from the minute you walk in.
From her welcoming & easy going personality - to her few simple questions
that allow her to start to devise a master plan...

This worked well because the only plan I had was "Don't look like the girl from The Ring"

The adorable decor made me feel like I was at a photoshoot in a vintage hair salon,
and I couldn't resist taking a few quick photos as we began the 5-6 hour process of restoring
what I had spent the last year ruining daily.

When you're sitting in a chair for that long, there's nothing like some excellent

conversation to keep the time moving.  Katie-Rose has the ability to keep the 

talk going as she works her magic, and she was as excited as I was about

what was about to come...

After the first step of removing the black, she moved onto getting the foils in,

and whatever else had to happen in order to get rid of the mistakes I had made.

I didn't have a specific colour in mind, I just left it up to Katie Rose to take me

where I needed to be.  

Trust + Hair stylist goes hand in hand.

For those who aren't on a diet, Lost and Found Parlour offers a choice of 

beer & wine AND will even eat cookies in front of you while you are stuck

in a chair under her complete control.

ISN'T SHE PRECIOUS?!

(I dreamt about that cookie....as I slept standing up as not to ruin my new do)

TA-DA!!

The final product.

I was FREAKING out when it was all said and done, and I don't think I could have paid/hugged/thanked her enough for the outcome.  I was so impressed, and just trust me when I say that for the time put in - the cost was, by far, better then I have EVER paid at another salon.

Good-bye Black, and HELLO actual dimension and style! 

WHO KNEW it was hiding there this whole time!!

I can't recommend this girl enough - so you will just have to go and see her for yourself!

She books between Tuesday - Saturday, and you can contact her at the Lost and Found Parlour website, or also check out Katie-Rose's incredible transformations on her Facebook page, "Hair by Katie-Rose".  She is also a fellow Tweeter, and is more then willing to take appointments via tweet if that's more your style, via @hairbykatierose or @LFHairParlour.

Thank-You Katie-Rose for making me feel pretty for the day! 

See you again when the greys come out to play...

28 days: The #Foreverfit Blog Series {FIRST POST}

In an effort to not be mistaken for Santa this Christmas season, Kira and I are on a mission.
It's not to find kittens.
It's not to listen to LMFAO Champagne Showers more times then it's been viewed on youtube (mainly bc we've already done that...)


The mission we are on is #FOREVERFIT.  We are going to take the next 28 days off from the likes of junk food and booze (*tear*) and focus on getting our pants back on. And by that, I mean our skinny pants.

The Before Shots (or something like that)

This will take a human life  a lot of will power, BUT WE WILL DO THIS.  Between food and exercise (of the mild variety due to actual, not a lie, medical conditions), it will get done, one way or another.


We have decided to blog and tweet our way through this so you can make fun of us if we fail (which we will might won't). We were each going to start off with our own, but when Kira sent me her first instalment, I couldn't have said it better myself. 


So here we go:

"Yo-yo dieting: it doesn't work. 

Fact. 

Which is why I'm so excited that Candice and I are not going to be doing that. We are going to be changing our eating habits; not going on a cleanse for a few weeks or drinking maple syrup and jalapeno water until we want to wretch rainbows (classy, right?). 

We are going to embark on something magical, where we take ourselves from mcchicken-craving, candy-driven, pringles junkies into ..well, people with respectable eating habits. We're going to stop ourselves from going down the chip aisle of the grocery store, and we're going to curb our wanton desires for nasty carbs and trans fats at any (ie: every) waking moment. 

Today we start #foreverfit bootcamp. 

Today we go back to giving a shit about our health, and what we put in our pie holes (god, I wish it was going to be pie). 

This all started last week, when I was complaining on twitter how I needed a running buddy, and Candice shoved her twitterface in mine proclaiming loudly that she'd be the one to join me. I squealed like a little girl, we laughed, we plotted. We agreed we'd use the meal plans and fitness regime she'd learned awhile ago after being on "The Last 10 Pounds" show, and have at it. 

And here we are: day one.. and I'm scared shitless. 

The idea of a bootcamp is always scary, but moreso because now we're sharing all of this with everyone. You get to marvel in our journey from lazy girls who shove face with take-out while drinking beer and watching hockey after work to *gasp* - energized ladies who.. drink beer and watch hockey after work. Okay, we can't all be perfect. But if we're going to change our eating habits to prawn stirfrys and bran buds (what in the hell is a bran bud? I don't even..) then we need to at least still be able to relax with a beer and watch our beloved Canucks, right? Right?? This is where Candice laughs in my face and points towards the treadmill, and I sob uncontrollably while I do crunches. 

Moving on, I'm super excited to have someone to do this with, and I'm so thankful to Candice for sharing her juicy insider info with me. I was about to spend another 8 months eating chicken breasts and steamed veggies for lunch and dinner every day, but I'm glad she is about to smarten me the eff up with her nutritional fountain of knowledge. 

So onwards we go - follow us on twitter for all the gory details like complaining how badly we want a Junior Bacon Cheeseburger, and how we can feel ourselves jiggle when we run, and how many sports bras we need to wear to keep our boobs from punching us in the face. I hope you enjoy it, and I hope you aren't offended by swearing - because I'm pretty sure I'm going to be cursing my very existence as of my first night back at the gym."

--@kixy_stabbs

See what I mean? There's basically no better way to sum up what's about to happen, so stay tuned and we will put up posts when we don't feel like murdering people.  OK, so maybe we'll have to put those feelings aside otherwise this will be the only post. Kira will also be posting her daily rage updates on her website, so be sure to head over there too!


GO TEAM #FOREVERFIT.


If you can't beat us, then join us.  The more people in pain and suffering, the merrier we will be.

This Thing Called Twitter...

There's been many times when I have met people off of Twitter, and they act like I have some sort of importance because of the number of followers I have.  Then there's me, on the other side of the coin, who is so nervous that I probably changed outfits 76 times before going to meet these people.  Just because people follow other people on Twitter, it doesn't mean that the person they are following has any kind of special power, or is better then the next person -- it's just the fickleness that Twitter has become.

There is almost a hierarchy, especially amongst the different major metropolis areas across Canada.  I say Canada because that's where I live, so it's who I interact with the most.  I'm not biased to Canadians, although I would have to admit that if I see someone is from the Vancouver area, I tend to follow right away.

The way that I decide who to follow on Twitter is simple: if you entertain me, I will follow you.  If you keep me informed on the latest celebrity gossip? I'll probably follow you. If you make me spit my coffee out of my mouth because I can't believe something that funny could fit in 140 characters? You are a shoo in. (I had to google that)

Anyways, there really is no reason behind why someone gets a lot of followers, or a little bit of followers, and I guess the Twitter experience is different for everyone.  For the people who have asked me how my account has grown over the years, I can only speak from my own experience.  I am no wizard of the tweets, so whatever I have to say about the subject should be taken as nothing more then someone who has had too much Coors Light and is finally feeling confident enough to address this question.

So here are my Top 5 things I think make a solid Twitter account, in no particular order:

1. COMMUNICATION - In the words of Ace Ventura, "You must THINK like zee dolphin, you must be getting INSIDE zee dolphins head and COMMUNICATE!"   He truly summed it up for you right there.  To get other people to connect with you, you have to interact with them.  If you think that a certain tweet was hilarious? tell the other person.  Have a laugh about it.  Chances are,  if you thought it was funny - there's more good material where that came from.  Following costs nothing, so it's not like you have anything to lose.

2. DON'T HAVE A PITY PARTY - That is what Facebook "status update" is for.  You know, the people who you actually know in real life, and who can actually pick up the phone or come over and comfort you.  Those are the people you lay the pity party on.  But Twitter? no. People come there to have a laugh, or escape the people they actually know.  So stop your bitching, and tell me about the funny thing your boss just did when he thought no one was looking.

3.  BE YOURSELF - I feel like a high school guidance counsellor, but seriously - just be yourself.  If you swear, then swear on Twitter.  If you talk like a truck driver? Good. We like that even more.  Oh, you bake cookies? Give me that recipe that's posted on your blog.  Funny spin on the recipe? Now I follow your blog too...see where I'm going with this?  If someone enjoys you, then they will want to connect with you - or in language you will better understand, #theywillfollowyou

4. NO ONE or TWO WORD ANSWERS - How boring.  Who wants to read one word? If I wanted to read one word at a time, I'd do crosswords or word search instead of tweeting.  If you're trying to gain more followers, have a conversation like you would in real life.  If I met you on the street and said to you;
"Ohh - don't you just LOVE the Twilight Saga? Edward can sparkle for me anytime.."
and you replied back to me,
"Team Jacob"
........
We're done here.

5. DON'T TRY TO IMPRESS ANYONE - Tweet as though no ones watching.  It seems like the main times I gain more followers or get retweeted, is when I tweet some random thoughts that I was under the impression would only make sense to me.  I never thought I'd have over 44,000 of those randoms thoughts in a 2 year period, but it is what it is.  I tweet whatever I am thinking and I don't sugar coat it.  This may not work for everyone, especially if you think about killing animals or something, but it works for most people (from what I've seen.)


I hope I have shed some light on my own personal experience, and if it comes in handy to anyone then BONUS, but if not - at least I can send out a link the next time someone asks me this question.

Just enjoy it, pretty soon something else will come along and we'll all switch over there and forget about each other.  For now though, if you can put the effort in - the payback is pretty amazing.

#foreverinternetfriends

10 Reasons Why I Can't Go Hunting

10.  Fear of wide open spaces.  Plain and simple.  If I imagine myself in the middle of a field, open to my left, open to my right, with no knowledge of the potential wildlife that may be hunting ME? No way. I just can't even... Not happening.

9.  Bambi.  My first movie theatre experience that I can remember, was when my father took me to see the Disney (cartoon) movie Bambi.

For years I thought the movie ended right after Bambi's mom was shot, since that was when I lost my mind crying and had to be escorted from the theatre by my no doubt embarrassed Dad.  Of all times he wished for a son, I bet this was one of them.  As it turns out, there was a whole other hour worth of the movie...Who knew?

8. I think antlers on the wall are tacky.  I know some rich people have them for fun, but when I think of redecorating, I just can't ever seem to work "Giant Literal Moose Head" into the plan.

7. I'd have to carry a gun.  This should never happen.  I have the worst luck ever with metal products made for destruction (mainly cars) that it would be naive for me to think that I could safely carry a gun from point A to point B, while keeping all my extremities in tact.

6. I'd have to hang out with other people are also carrying guns.  Again, see above for automobile reference.  You can't trust anyone - EVER. Especially when they are holding the power behind something that can kill you.

5. Road kill.  You're probably wondering what road kill has to do with hunting, but isn't it the same thing?  I see lots of dead carcasses on the side of highways across the country.  Maybe instead of shooting them, we could collect those ones? Not good? Meh.

4. Animals have families.  Maybe they're a mom or a dad.  Or Grandpa.  How would you feel if you killed somethings Grandpa? Not cool.  Not cool at all...

3. Patience is required.  I can hardly wait to get to the end of this sentence, that's how impatient I am.  Waiting silently in the dark, crouched, where bugs could potentially crawl on me - it's just like someone took my worst nightmare, and made me wait even longer to wake up from it.

2.  I don't like blood or flies.  Dead animals attract both of these things in hoards.

And the number one reason I can't go hunting is because...

1. I would shoot someone.  Guaranteed.  I would get totally spooked, shooting the first thing I saw, which would most likely be someone I was hunting with.  I wouldn't do it on purpose, of course, but either way it would happen.  And I like you too much to do that to you.

If I had a billion dollars..

If I had a billion dollars,
for starters,
I wouldn't be writing this blog.
I would probably pay someone to do it for me, or, since I'm so rich - someone might write one about me just because.

If I had a billion dollars,
I'd be really skinny.  And I don't want to hear "ohhh you're great the way you are" because with all the extra money, I would like to be great the way these people currently are:

Also, since I don't need to work - my job would be working out.  I would pay that guy from MTV who turns this into this:

If I had a billion dollars,
I wouldn't have plastic surgery because I don't want to LOOK like a cat - but with a billion dollars, I could do this with cats. So many cats. Rooms and rooms full of 'em. Meow.

The cats could even have their own house, which would have outdoor litter and a full time maid on vacuum duty.  The cats and I would watch Netflix, which to whom I would pay some extra cash-ola to stream illegal movies at my leisure.  It would be fine though,  I'd pay someone to make sure it was.

If I had a billion dollars,
I would travel around the world, in nothing more then a bikini and a smile, and I would drink out of coconuts.  I'd have all the large fish/sharks/sea monsters cleared out of a olympic sized swimming pool amount of the ocean, and I would stock it with Nemo's and turtles without biting capabilities and I would swim like Ariel.  I may even collect things from the surface and keep them down there.  Wanna come see my snarflat? No? Whatever. I'll buy you one for Christmas because I'm rich.

If I had a billion dollars,
I would adopt alllllll of the alcoholic and drug addicted celebrities, and I'd start a new universe where being sober was weird and you went to jail for selling yourself out to commercial brand products.  I'd create a new twitter account called @RichBitch where I literally tweet things that make you hate me, but like a train-wreck you'd want to know more and MORE and I'd be verified in no time! Muahaha! Verified RICH, that is.

There is a lot of other things I would do with a billion dollars, like give some to my friends and family - but not too much...don't want them to get greedy, or worse yet - have more money then me.

What would you do with a billion? Would you want it? I know I would.
Money may not buy happiness, but it can sure as hell buy things that make me happy.

The Christmas Shopping Conundrum

christ·mas/ˈkrisməs/

Exclamation:	Expressing surprise, dismay, or despair.
Noun:	The annual Christian festival celebrating Christ's birth, held on December 25.

+

shopping  (shp) noun. 1. To visit stores in search of merchandise or bargains. 2. To look for something with the intention of acquiring it.

=
Well then.

You don't say.

Let's analyze this, shall we?

First let's take Christmas - the day when some people think some guy was born.  Now combine that with Shopping, aka going to a store with the intention of acquiring something.  What do these two things have in common? The answer can be found here:

co·nun·drum/kəˈnəndrəm/

Noun:

A confusing and difficult problem or question. A question asked for amusement, typically one with a pun in its answer; a riddle

That's right folks - it makes no sense at all.  NONE.  But year after year, we all spend way more then we should on finding things to give to other people in our lives.  The gesture behind the madness is a sweet one, especially those people who take the time to actually think about what they are buying for someone else.  They browse the internet and stores for their favourite  items, and when the gift is opened on that magical day - it can bring tears to their eyes.  Now THAT, is touching.

Then you have me.  

In every other area of my life, logic fails me - but somehow when it comes to Christmas shopping I can be nothing BUT logical.  I usually think of the person, and then attach one thing that reminds me of said person.  Then I get results like this:

Sarah likes music and rocking out in her car - excellent. Drake has a new CD.

Kira likes cats. Hands down, kitten in a box.

Danny likes war-based computer games - BAM! CAMOUFLAGE SNUGGIE!

Karina writes books, she must need a pen.

Genina hasn't seen Anchorman? DVD it is. Even better, I could download it and put it on a DVD. Now who's thinking?

Brandee has a cute little girl, she MUST need a gc to Children's Place..  Or a Kitten in a box... shit. wait. Did I already give that to someone?....

@SSDated writes blogs about dating - year long subscription to EHarmony? Sold. Must keep the stories coming.

Mom and Dad like birds - and birds need seeds.

See my problem? Gifts so predictable - it's downright embarrassing.

The Token Sock Gift....Bf's reaction is almost convincing.

How do you shop? Online or in store? Are you one of those people I see in the mall on the 24th, running around grabbing whatever you can get your hands on, especially if it's pre-wrapped in a gift set?  I see you there - because I'm there with you.  Not just in spirit, but in body as well.  Sweaty and tired, and wishing I would have started 3 months ago when things were priced reasonably and not jacked up just because I'll pay it.

I haven't started my shopping yet, and if anyone tells me they've been done since October 1st, let me know where you live and when you won't be home because I may just pay you a visit... with a giant sack.... and no reindeer....

Merry HO HO. Here we go again...

"Meet Me" - The Life Behind The Blogger

I read a lot of blogs on the internet, but I never feel as though I get the same connection with the writer as I do with the people I interact with on Twitter or Facebook. This makes sense, because I stalk  am addicted spend more time on those two sites then anywhere else.

As I was thinking of a way to connect on a more personal level with my readers, I thought it might be an interesting idea to start a new blog trend.  The trend I'm hoping for should help to open up the communication and connect with the bloggers whose sites I enjoy reading.  The "About me" section is alright, but what better way to get an idea of who I really am (other then bat-shit crazy), then to go through the pictures from my cell phone.
They sum up my likes, dislikes, fav moments, things that make me go 'hmmm' - just to name a few.  Looking through the photos I take on my cell phone, remind me that I:
a) have my cell phone with me every waking moment
b) have some pretty awesome friends
c) am fascinated by basically everything

So, that's how "Meet Me" was born, and this is my first instalment.  I hope other bloggers will follow suit and allow for readers to get a glimpse of the life behind the blogger...

this is how you will normally see me.  The sick part is,
I can still tweet like a champ whilst double fisting.

cookies and food of any kind make me extra excited.
Especially cute ones.
And you have also just learned that my forehead is only available in XL.

Those of you who follow me on Twitter know I like my Growers.
Annnnnd my glasses full. Not half full. Not normal full. Just FULL.

Give me an opportunity to doodle, and I will see your doodle and
raise you one styrofoam masterpiece.

By now you are probably thinking, "So far I've learned is that she has a drinking problem"
The only drinking problem I have is that I don't own one of these.
Taking pictures of everything I see is the epitome of who I am.

I find things like this funny.
Maybe you have kids and you're thinking "Not so much..."
Well now you know I'm sick and deranged. 

I have adorable friends.
See?

This is what "GILZ" looks like in picture form.
Now say it out loud and it will all make sense.
This is how I react to all awkward situations.

If you are my neighbour, and your dog barks all night long -
This is what you will find me doing.
Feeding pepperoni under the door until your dog shuts up.
You're welcome.

This photo was taken less then a minute away from my apartment in Surrey.
Things like this make me want to move, and take a nap, and listen to Queen all at once.

Self Portrait.

I still make cakes from time to time...
and I still love every second of it.

This is a typical ride to work for me.
Just another glimpse at my oh so average lifestyle.

There you have it.

In a few quick photos, you are now basically my new best friend.  I can feel the connections growing already. With the exception of 80,000 a few mall kitten photographs, that is me summed up in a nutshell.

I'd like to encourage all you other bloggers to let us into your world - whether it be through photo, poetry, YouTube video or the always clever internet meme's.  Whatever method you choose, I look forward to learning a little bit more about each of you and it will make me enjoy reading your blogs even more so....

Can't wait to "Meet You" too!

ps: Feel free to post links to your blogs below so I can check out your posts!!

Dear Moustache(s)..

{This post is in reply to a Movember-based blog "Dear Moustache" set up by Don Falconer, aka @TheFalconer, as he writes to his new-found facial friend throughout the month of November.  It is all in an effort to raise awareness and money for Prostate Cancer.  I think this is a great idea and had to join in to spread the word!}


Dear Moustache(s),

You are barely a prickle on the face of many men across the world, and yet somehow you already intrigue me.  I often wonder what you will amount too, and just how many of you will make the face you live on, start to resemble a Super Mario Brother.  This is good on many levels.

In the beginning, I want to pledge money to all of you for bringing awareness to cancer - but as I start to see mo' and mo' of you appear on the faces of men - I have decided to save my pledges for my favourite Mo's at the end of the month.

With so many of you looking like my dad from 1980-1992, I have a hard time saying that you are making faces look "sexy", but the general consensus on facial hair from women is: THUMBS UP.

"Mo' moustache, Mo' money" is how I will base my pledges, so little stubbles, keep warming the upper lips of the men and boys I walk past on a daily basis.  You not only make us chuckle, but also make us happy because we know it's there for a reason, and that the reason is not to make you look like a 70's pornstar..

Like a proud aunt, I want to watch you grow to be all you can be and mo'..

xoxo

-Candice


{To check out Don's latest "Dear Moustache post, click here to visit his blog at Dear Moustache..}

Why Stuff Matters

There is countless amounts of stuff in my life that make me feel like hiding under a rock and never coming out.  Some stuff makes me feel the complete opposite, and instead of hiding under a rock - I want to throw the rock at people just to get their attention, all the while running around screaming "ISN'T STUFF AMAZING?!?!" Occasionally, some stuff causes a lump to form in my throat and no matter what I do, I can't escape the feeling of utter helplessness.  On the flip side of that, there's other stuff that happens, that not even a bird shitting on my shoulder could wipe the smile off my face.

Annnnd then I pause.

Why does stuff matter? It's the question thats plagued me - and no doubt philosophers around the world - for quite sometime.  After all, aren't we all just a bunch of civilized animals that happened to create some way of communicating that didn't involve picking bugs out of each others hair?  When a politician cheats on his wife, or a celebrity divorces her husband after 72 days, or when your husband forgot to take out the trash - why do such insignificant instances of "stuff" cause such chaos in our everyday lives?

From the words that we type, to the emotions we feel - who decided that this suff would play such a pivotal part of who we are as people?  If you know, pass them my email because I need to have words with him/her.

Maybe we could blame the media for making stuff matter....?

Sometimes stuff can really get in the way of other stuff.  Like if I go to the mall to buy a new pair of jeans, I stuff myself in (pun 100% intended) and then look in the mirror.
Hmm.
You don't say.
The simple act of shopping for stuff, has now thrown me into a world of emotion that causes me to question other stuff I have been doing in my life leading up to the reflection staring back at me.  Who cares if it's not the same reflection that stared back at me 10 years ago.  In reality, it's just more stuff that doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things - but to me?  It's now become a matter of life and death. And for what? Well let me tell you...
Nothing.  That's what.
Just another example of why I am constantly questioning the importance of stuff.

"Don't sweat the small stuff" they say.  WHO IS THEY AND WHAT IS CONSIDERED SMALL STUFF?  Maybe small stuff to some, is big stuff for others.  I suppose it boils down to human emotions, and the fact that we like to try and rationalize every situation put in front of us.  Or perhaps it's because when we worry about stuff, we don't have to actually think about the BIG picture - which is WHY all this stuff even matters at all.

As I get older, I try to take a step back from the all the stuff in my life - good and bad - and question what the point is of questioning it is.  Should I just roll with it, knowing that in the end all the stuff means nothing if I have no one to share it with?  Or should I keep on worrying and enjoying all the stuff life throws at me and just check it off my 'less-fun bucket list of life experiences' (which also includes driving on every on and off-ramp in B.C. at least once, and watching Schindler's List)

Does stuff drive you crazy too? Or am I the only one who takes a pause from worrying about stuff, to worry about why stuff becomes stuff in the first place? Stuff. Stuff. Stuff.

I guess even if I never get the answer, there will always be more stuff to keep me occupied.  Like kittens and YouTube videos and Twitter, to name a few.  So from the stuff that matters to stuff that doesn't - it will always be around to give you something to do...And maybe that's why it matters in the first place?

Why I probably shouldn't come to the mall with you...

I have debt.

I suppose with any human flaw, the first step is admitting it.  

When I was 18 years old, and my bank informed me that I was eligible to open up my very first Visa card with a $1500 limit -  well hot damn. It felt like I won the lottery! In hindsight, this probably should have been warning sign #1.  Back in the day, whenever I used my shiny new card, I would very quickly make sure that I paid off the balance in full.  Interest? Not going to catch me paying any of that nonsense!  This card was to build my credit rating - not to dig myself into a future black hole that only the most qualified astronomer could access.

Warning sign #2: I worked in a mall and I liked shopping. Mainly because I'm a girl.  There really is no other explanation required.  Having a credit card, working full time in a mall and liking to shop, is like working in a gun store, having a gun annnnnnd liking to shoot yourself with it.  In other words, NOT GOOD.  My 3rd warning sign should have come from the fact that when you order food and have it delivered, the credit card is the best way to not feel as guilty about dipping into a bank account to find things to stuff my face with.  The problem was, the card WAS my bank account - but like many other humans, that thought doesn't enter the mind (because it was filled with food and a new cute outfit I now can't fit into...because of all the food....gilz.)

As the years went by - I shopped. And I ate. Then I ate some more, maybe even while I was shopping.  Then maybe I'd go shopping for a concert I have bough tickets to, and stock up on drinks and food for the hotel that I am staying at to make the concert night as fun as possible.  What was that, you say!? My Ebay bid for the DVD of The Life & Death of Marilyn Monroe just won?! AMAZING. BECAUSE THAT WAS EXACTLY WHAT MY LIFE WAS MISSING.

After all those things that I thought my life was missing  - I'm noticing that I have nothing to show for any of it - just a mound of debt, which was probably the cause of every hair growing in grey since the age of 22.  I have stressed about it, cried about it - tried to pay it off and cried some more, but in the end, could never seem to get a handle on things.

That is until...

I didn't activate my replacement cards.  

Sounds so simple, but when I saw them in the mail, I put them in my purse but neglected to call the 1-800 number to get the activation initiated.  Week after week, I started to throw money on the cards here and there to make a dent, and I didn't pay much more attention, other then to make sure that minimum payments were made and my credit score (which I also obsessed over) was in the range where companies wouldn't tell me that I had to get a co-signer for a loan. 

Today, I just checked the balance of my total debt - and to my complete shock and amazement, I HAD MONEY AVAILABLE.  Like, not $5 either but a substantial amount!  Gone are the days where I would be shuffling money to this and fro that, and now instead of shuffling everyday - I SHOULD NEVER HAVE TO SHUFFLE AGAIN (riiiight...)

I wrote this blog basically to reassure anyone who feels like their love of shopping, eating, shopping and shopping is ruining their chance at a productive future.  I assure you that it can be done.  Sacrifices have to be made, and if you are willing to make them, you can get ahead of the game.  Everyone has debt - except for perfect people - so don't sweat it.  Make your minimum payments and don't reactivate your cards when they expire.  I promise that they will stay shiny and new and ready for you when the time comes that you can log back onto Etsy and go accessory crazy.

What was that, upcoming Christmas vacation? You want me to go where now?

Done and done. 

An Open Letter to Kim Kardashian

Hi Kim,

How's it going?  Oh right. Probably not the greatest, eh?  Well, I just thought I would take this time to send you a quick letter about how this media blitz coverage of your pending divorce is affecting the general public.  You may want to brace yourself, because despite the millions of dollars they claim you made, what I'm about to tell you is worth more then any millions they could offer to televise your divorce.

Here it goes...

No one cares.

I'm 100% serious.

No one cares at all.  The media cares because you made a sex tape and some clothes, but the general public could care less about your wedding or divorce, maybe even less then they care that I had a sandwich for lunch today.  If the general public had it's way, we'd rather be watching Entertainment Tonight featuring Dr. Conrad Murray's murder trial then anything to do with how much money you did or didn't make - and how many days your "marriage" did or didn't last.

The only reason you feel like we care, and should give you the privacy you so 'deserve', is because the media won't shut up about it.  And just as a a side note, from what I can see? It seems like your family, and yourself, are the ones who are keeping these stories coming.
Kris Jenner says "People shouldn't judge".
Rob Kardashian says "We all support her".
Kim K says " I guess I got caught up in the hoopla...."

Wait, wait wait. Caught up in it?! YOU WERE IT.

I'm sure you're a great person who cares more about finding love then getting millions of dollars for having a sex tape, getting married, making clothes or getting divorced. I'm sure we'd be bff away from the camera because I love fashion and attention and you seem to bring a lot of that (obviously).  The worst part is, I'm actually a fan of your reality show and was looking forward to watching the marriage unfold over the next 3 seasons, not the next 3 minutes.  From the perspective of a viewer, it's just so disappointing.

So keep the ring, throw out the ring, donate the ring to charity or turn the ring into a new husband - whatever you decide to do - I just want you to know that we, as a human population, don't care.  And if you and your family will stop talking to the media about how you don't want to be judged or talked about in the media, maybe your wish would come true.  Not the 'happily ever after' wish, but the one where you get to pretend that you actually married Reggie Bush.

Too soon?

I hope this letter finds you well, in Sydney Austrailia or wherever you have gone to escape the public eye.

Ps: tell your camera crew I said hi.