Kira and I have been blandly eating our way through the week, every 3 hours or so during the day - although I'm sometimes not sure if it's me just breathing, or actually eating, since the food tastes like air. This meal plan is designed to put you on the track, of
So far this week, I have been able to suppress the inevitable cravings of chips, candy and what not (mostly because I went full out on Sunday, as if my mouth were the trick or treat bag of a kid who lived in a generous neighbourhood on Hallowe'en) but there have been a few moments that I know will stay with me through the next 23 days.
I guess I should just come right out and say I have a ketchup problem. I love that shit. Always have. On everything but eggs, ketchup works. All of this boring and tasteless food that makes me skinny would be 10 gajillion times better if it were introduced to this sexy fellow:
I'm not sure why Heinz can't figure out a healthy way to do make this tasty treat, but the fact that they haven't done it yet makes me believe that it truly is one tomato to 4 pounds of sugar, dyed red. Mmmm...dyed sugar.....*drool*
Speaking of sugar, and the fact that on Friday's I normally partake in an activity I call #drunkinyvr where I consume various amounts of beverages that make the worries of the week disappear. I understand that booze is not on the list of preferred drinks, but as I walked past these happy looking bottles, I couldn't help but want to lose my shit and smash them all on the floor. How's that for self control?
Instead of doing that, I ate this:
Doesn't that look like much more fun? No? Good eye. HELLO, TASTE? SERIOUSLY, WHY YOU NO TASTE GOOD BUT BE SO GOOD FOR ME? The sweet potato is misleading, the asparagus needs cheese, and a salt less chunk of dead cow.
Today at work, I was raging against the wrap that took 3 bites to eat and left me feeling like I had just been given a prize and then had it taken away. Complaining about a chicken wrap may seem ridiculous, and I assure you that it is - but as a former 250 pounder, my brain always wants to eat the MAC. ALWAYS.
Tonight - there was no Mac. There was no ketchup. There was no bottle of vodka, that I could pretend was alright because it looked so much like water. No, no.
Tonight, there was this:
MERRY CHRISTMAS ME.
annnnd lumps of coal, for my taste buds.
Meanwhile, Kira has been diligently staying close to the meal plan - which for a first-timer I would definitely recommend using to help get used to the new foreign foods called "vegthablaes"....or something like that....
She has hilariously outlined her Day 5, and the infamous lunch of "Satan's tears" ...click here to read all the
23 days to go, and the fun
Now if I could just get off my ass and burn one calorie, we might just be onto something here...