Big Brother: What we're all thinking...

There isn't another show like Big Brother.  Ok, maybe their are several that fall under the same category as BB, but none have seemed to be able to capture my undivided attention for so many seasons on end.  I can commit myself to four nights a week, because not only can I watch it to unwind after work - but BB also becomes a social phenomenon.  Girls nights take a back seat, and we drink wine and talk about how INCREDIBLY gorgeous Jeff is.  Not your cup of tea? Well then there must be something wrong with you...

This season started off slightly awkward - there was a lot of yelling and excitedness, that translated into all sorts of annoying.  I had to keep reminding myself that this was only the first episode, and thing would get better once I got to know them.  Let's examine who we have in the house this time around:

Starting in the top left, we have bow 'n' arrow, rootin' tootin' Shelly Moore, the Outdoors Industry Executive.  When they started her bio I thought she was a professional hunter, but by the end of the episode I was ready to rip my hair out if she told me she was a "guy's girl" one more time.  Her kid was cute, cute family, probably the only reason I'd feel bad for her if she left the show first.  Hopefully her one on one interviews will take a turn for the better, or someone will send her packing in time for deer season.

Porsche Briggs, the VIP Cocktail waitress told everyone that her parents named her after the car.  That would have been fine and dandy, except she pronounces her name "Portia".  I would love to drive a Portia someday.  Since she didn't want any of the other houseguests  to feel like she didn't deserve to be there because of her lucrative career - she came up with a "faux profession".  The oldest BB trick in the book.  My guess is she tells someone who flirts with her, and they tell everyone = cover blown.  I give it 3 episodes.

Where do I begin, when it comes to Lawon Exum, a legal file clerk, aka Richard Simmons.  What? He looks like Richard Simmons, and his personality could definitely sell a few exercise videos.  He is loud, and loud - and generally loud.  Other then this, I have yet to see what he will bring to the table. (get it? the table? I love this show)

And then we have Keith Henderson.  Hmm. How do you politely say that this guy is a walking erection?  When he was introduced as a Youth Pastor in his bio, I thought - oh he seems pleasant!  Enter the boob jobs and Oliva Wilde look-a-likes and this guy can barely contain his excitement.  Literally.  It's bulging out of everywhere.  He's there to lock it down, and I don't mean the $500,000... 

The intellectually unmatchable brain of Fashion Blogger Kalia Booker, is like, totally like, the best part ever. She like, totally can't even believe that like, she had to get partnered with the crazy guy.  Her boobs were pushed like, totally high enough that like, someone hot should have totally, like picked her first.  She better have good clothes - this will be, like, the only saving grace.

Dominic Briones - d'awwwwww!! I can't get enough of this kid.  He's sweet, smart, adorable and doesn't like sitting on top of strange mens heads (watch episode one to get caught up).  I want him to make it to the end, and come in like a stealthy BB pro.  In his confessionals, he has some very funny observations about his housemates, and I look forward to seeing more of his body from him.

Cassi Colvin (aka Oliva Wilde) was sent to the show by Doctor House her modeling agency so that people like my bf will watch.  There has to be something to keep the bfs entertained, when they want to throw things through the television 4 nights of every week.  That being said, she's actually really nice and smart - and I surprisingly don't hate her, even though she's skinny and that's usually enough for me. I think she'll make it further then her rifle shootin' partner, Shelly.

THEN THERE'S ADAM POCH - EVERYTHING ADAM AHHHHHHHHHHHH METAL HEAD AHHHHHHHH THE GUY WHO GETS SUPER ANGRY WHEN THINGS DON'T GO HIS WAY.  OR WHEN HE GETS EXCITED. I WANT HIM TO GET AHHHHHHHHHH VOTED OFF VERY SOON.  THE SKID SIGN, WHEN DONE BY PEOPLE IN THEIR AHHHHHHHH 50'S LOSES IT'S MEANING. RAGGGGGEEEEEEEE. 

These make up the "unknowns" - and when combined with: 

the cocky-as-ever Evil Dick and skin and bones Danielle

naive yet hilarious Jordan and her smokin' hot bf Jeff

Racheal "Giggles/Boobs McGee" and her puppy Brendan

We are bound to be in for another amazing season.  Alliances are being formed, and opinions are being made, Big Brother nights are in the works, and I have the next 3 months booked off from work so I can watch the live feed 24/7.  DON'T LOOK AT ME!!!  

Ok, so maybe not that bad - but what do you think so far? My money's on a newbie, and a lot of shirtless shenanigans.  I don't know about you, but in the voice of Adam - AHHHHH!! I CANNOT WAIT.