Hi.
How are you? Good? That's good.
We have never actually met, but I live in the condo below you. I have only been here a week, but I feel like I already know more about you then I should. I would like to outline a few conclusions I have come to during my time living below you.
1. You own a dog. You know how I know this? He doesn't like being alone. So, when he is alone, he howls. FOR HOURS. It sounds like a pack of wolves is hanging out in your apartment when you are not home. This includes when you are not home at 1-2am. He still howls - and paces back and forth with his sharp toes on the floor. The part that's even better, is when you do come home and give the dog a toy to play with (at 2am) and he repeatedly drops it on the wood floor. When you yell at your girlfriend to deal with the dog and then she chases it around the condo? I can hear that part too.
2. You have questionable taste in music. No one listens to Nickelback by choice, so when you do - please respect the eardrums of others and use an ipod. When you sing along to Nickelback, this does not help the situation. I'm the first for an all out dance party, but I'd like to be able to hear my music above yours - since I don't live IN your condo with you. The only redeemable part was little hint of Mary J Blige that you played while I had my morning coffee yesterday. The soundtrack to my life is starting to feel like a bad mixed CD from an ex-bf.
3. Your girlfriend is loud in bed. What? You left me no choice here. I didn't ask to be woken up by your love-making, but that's the situation we are in this morning. As I laid next to my bf last night - my snoring, sleeping bf - I was having a hard time distinguishing whether the dog was howling, or someone was being murdered. I soon realized it was neither, and that the screaming and moaning was coming from a human. 4am sex is great, but when the whole building is silent - and the only sounds in the night are you two going at it - we have an issue. On a plus side, at least neither of you let that get in the way of ummm..enjoying yourselves. You kiss your mothers with those mouths? Crazy. I felt naughty just living below you, and I'm pretty sure I could sell a recording of you guys to Lava Line for a decent chunk of change.
I know this is Whalley, and I'm trying to keep an open mind - but pay attention to your howling dog, get some headphones for your Nickelback binges and please, for the love of everything good and right in the world, keep me out of your sex life.
Thanks neighbour,
Candice.
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10 comments:
Love it!! I hope he reads it and good luck!!
Hmmmm, it's a really good thing I don't live in a buidling with other folks cuz I'm guilty of all three of those things.........and I enjoy them all! Thank goodness for 5 acres and small towns, although I'm sure in the summer the 5 acres hasn't prevented the neighbors from hearing either number 2 OR number 3. I'm just sayin......
o dear. :(
this was hilarious. i feel for you...they really need to start making thicker walls or at least more soundproof ones. in my office, i can hear the complete phone conversations from the office next door. and sometimes, when the phone's ringing, I go to answer it when it's not mine. at home, i can hear my neighbour coughing in her bedroom all night long and every noise from one floor below. yuck.
LMAO!!! You are hilarious! I have a neighbor upstairs who thumps on the floor if I sneeze. Anytime we go into the kitchen to make dinner he thumbs around upstairs then turns his music on full blast to the point it shakes our floor. He watches movies in surround sound and It's like listening to talk radio with effects on steroids! In the afternoon I put on a CD in my computer and he slammed his balcony door upstairs several times. My music was quiet. The entire time I was recovering from surgery and had a hard time moving in bed he would thump on the floor or slam open his drawers and thump around on the floor if I moved YET... he is always loud and inconsiderate.
He's the bastard who flooded our bathroom with his shite because he didn't tell the landlords his toilet kept flooding! He's the looser who came into our apartment because he thought he was on his floor! He's the looser who has his windows signing on sound so high it woke me up in the middle of the night with a mild strokeI (embellishing a bit)!
I HATE NEIGHBOURS! LOLOL :) Thanks for opening the gate for serious venting young lady!
Too funny. I can relate. There is a dog in our building who howls like he's a werewolf and it's a full moon every second he's alone. We hear him loud and clear. And he's like 4 floors above us.
The most fun though is when the crackhead in the building across from ours comes home from the bar at 3am and decides that his best friend has slept with his girlfriend - both of whom happen to be with him as he has this revelation in front of his building across from ours/and my bedroom window - and he decides the only way to handle it is a wrestle mania smackdown with the best friend that ends with police. Oh the joys of urban living!
hahaha these are the best comments ever!! Thank you for feeling my pain! Thumps when I sneeze - LOL i would lose my mind!! and yes - the joys of urban living INDEED!! Only 11 months, 3 weeks, 1 day left, but who's counting? hahaha ;)
Post the letter in your apartment's mail room/bulletin board :) I could write a similar letter to my upstairs neighbour about their smoking habit that takes them outside on their balcony every 30 minutes, slamming the patio door going in and out, the neighbour next to me who snores each night from 9pm to 9am, etc. I think there should be an apartment living 101 course for every apartment dweller :)
Definitely post this somewhere everyone in your building can see it. God, I'm glad I don't live in an apartment anymore...That all sounded painfully familiar.
C.... I feel your pain...I used to live downstairs from the same ppls...many years ago and that is why I will only live on the third floor ( like now ) use a broom handle ..no not to stick up there ...but to bang on the ceiling when it gets overwhelming ...good luck !!
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